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It’s like the Thelma & Louise of man movies, provided that Thelma and Louise were actually gay.
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I’m pretty sure that The Best Of Absolutely Nothing would be a far more accurate title.
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I’ve got two tickets to paradise…called testicular cancer.
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He’s a man of many faces. Too bad entertaining isn’t one of them.
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I’ve got a fever. And the only prescription…is more JCVD.
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The title of this film doesn’t describe any aspect of the plot, but rather Brian Bosworth’s career.
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One of the world’s most tragic mistakes: the TV movie.
0 Stars
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A jogging enthusiast’s worst nightmare. And no, we’re not referring to a pair of shorts that actually cover your balls.
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I laughed so hard that Diet Coke sprayed out my nose, and I haven’t drank Diet Coke in six years.
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Watching elderly people race for the Early Bird breakfast buffet is more riveting than this incredible pile of garbage.
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It’s-a me, Mario! I’m-a here to take a dump on-a yo chest!
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A truly epic five part journey into madness that few will survive. Proceed with caution and adult diapers.
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For anyone who felt that Monster Squad was too much of a thinking movie, there’s Nightbreed.
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Over ninety minutes of praying that Dolph Lundgren will put some goddamn pants on.
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Like a regular cop, only he fixes watches.
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There’s evil behind you. Painfully boring evil.
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This should have been called Over The Shark, as in this movie jumped it.
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Hey kids, do you like exploding heads? Well, you probably still won’t like this movie.
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Street Racer? More like Shit Racer! Am I right? Anyone?
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I’ll see you at the party, Richter! Right next to the freaky midget in the dude’s stomach and the chick with three boobs!
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If you’re going to end a career, might as well take a lot of people with you.
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Seriously, Christians, you had it coming.
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If you added a giant middle finger to that picture of two unmoving robots, you’d pretty much have it perfect.
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In case George Bush didn’t make you hate the US enough, let this movie seal the deal.
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Watch out Guttenberg, it’s Three Men and a Bathtub.
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In space, no one can hear you scream. Please, take these people to space. I’m begging you.
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Robert Urich takes you on a magic journey through time, space, and herpes.
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Guys, we’re in the alien ship and that totally sucks.
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Possibly one of the greatest of all time. Hail to the king and his pommel horse, baby.
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I’M TIRED OF THESE MOTHERFUCKING SHITTY ACTORS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING TRAIN!
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Bad things come in threes, but useless things comes in fours.
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Less, much less, than meets the eye.
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No, really, this movie exists. Trust us.
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TMIS: This Movie Is Shit – The Revenge
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Hold on one second…yep…the adventure’s now over.
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Zzzzzz…zzzzz…why yes, Bea Arthur, I’d love a hot stone massage…zzzz…
0 Stars
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Find your Animality! Mine’s a disgruntled chipmunk.
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JCVD begins the madness with a flashkick to the balls.
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