The Complete Movie List

	Planet Hulk Needless to say, conflicts on this planet are not solved be reasoned debate or rational thinking.
	Next Avengers: Heroes Of Tomorrow Finally The Avengers are going to tackle an epic problem truly fitting of their skills: cooties.
	Ultimate Avengers 2 This might be Big Whitey’s biggest middle finger to black people since Vanilla Ice.
	Ultimate Avengers I never understood this group’s name when I was a child. What exactly are they avenging? Poor life choices and overwhelming unlikablility?
	Dr Strange: The Sorcerer Supreme We’ve seen this movie and we’ve still never heard of him.
	The Invincible Iron Man I’m pretty sure the only thing on him that can be described as invincible is his incurable bout of herpes.
	Mega Piranha The most brutal and painful plague unleashed upon the world since the Jonas Brothers.
	Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus An epic battle that will test the limits of their strength and of your ability to stay awake.
	Blind Fury No movie can possibly be as bad as this poster, but goddamn it, it sure as hell tries.
	I Come In Peace For some reason I’m getting eerie flashbacks of the time I made my He-Man doll battle my Faker doll.
	They Live Sure, but do they love?
	Tango & Cash It’s like the Thelma & Louise of man movies, provided that Thelma and Louise were actually gay.
	Best Of The Best I’m pretty sure that The Best Of Absolutely Nothing would be a far more accurate title.
	Hard Ticket To Hawaii I’ve got two tickets to paradise…called testicular cancer.
	Darkman He’s a man of many faces. Too bad entertaining isn’t one of them.
	Double Impact I’ve got a fever. And the only prescription…is more JCVD.
	Stone Cold The title of this film doesn’t describe any aspect of the plot, but rather Brian Bosworth’s career.
	Alien Apocalypse One of the world’s most tragic mistakes: the TV movie. 0 Pants Full Of Jizz
	The Running Man A jogging enthusiast’s worst nightmare. And no, we’re not referring to a pair of shorts that actually cover your balls.
	Troll II I laughed so hard that Diet Coke sprayed out my nose, and I haven’t drank Diet Coke in six years.
	Death Racers Watching elderly people race for the Early Bird breakfast buffet is more riveting than this incredible pile of garbage.
	Super Mario Bros It’s-a me, Mario! I’m-a here to take a dump on-a yo chest!
	The American Ninja Quintilogy A truly epic five part journey into madness that few will survive. Proceed with caution and adult diapers.
	Nightbreed For anyone who felt that Monster Squad was too much of a thinking movie, there’s Nightbreed.
	Masters Of The Universe Over ninety minutes of praying that Dolph Lundgren will put some goddamn pants on.
	Timecop Like a regular cop, only he fixes watches.
	Evil Behind You There’s evil behind you. Painfully boring evil.
	Over The Top This should have been called Over The Shark, as in this movie jumped it.
	Fist Of The North Star Hey kids, do you like exploding heads? Well, you probably still won’t like this movie.
	Street Racer Street Racer? More like Shit Racer! Am I right? Anyone?
	Total Recall I’ll see you at the party, Richter! Right next to the freaky midget in the dude’s stomach and the chick with three boobs!
	Cool As Ice If you’re going to end a career, might as well take a lot of people with you.
	The Apocalypse Seriously, Christians, you had it coming.
	Robot Jox If you added a giant middle finger to that picture of two unmoving robots, you’d pretty much have it perfect.
	Captain America In case George Bush didn’t make you hate the US enough, let this movie seal the deal.
	Double Team Watch out Guttenberg, it’s Three Men and a Bathtub.
	Universal Soldiers In space, no one can hear you scream. Please, take these people to space. I’m begging you.
	The Ice Pirates Robert Urich takes you on a magic journey through time, space, and herpes.
	Alien Vs Hunter Guys, we’re in the alien ship and that totally sucks.
	Gymkata Possibly one of the greatest of all time. Hail to the king and his pommel horse, baby.
	Snakes On A Train I’M TIRED OF THESE MOTHERFUCKING SHITTY ACTORS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING TRAIN!
	Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer Bad things come in threes, but useless things comes in fours.
	Transmorphers Less, much less, than meets the eye.
	Arena No, really, this movie exists. Trust us.
	DOA: Dead Or Alive TMIS: This Movie Is Shit – The Revenge
	Hold on one second…yep…the adventure’s now over.
	Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles In Time Zzzzzz…zzzzz…why yes, Bea Arthur, I’d love a hot stone massage…zzzz… 0 Pants Full Of Jizz
	Mortal Kombat: Annihilation Find your Animality! Mine’s a disgruntled chipmunk.
	Street Fighter: The Movie JCVD begins the madness with a flashkick to the balls.

Max Blast

Posted August 5, 2010 at 11:22 AM

Your material is good, but these are among the best:
http://www.gweem.net/9.html

Paul R. Welke

Posted September 14, 2010 at 6:41 PM

I fucking DARE you guys to watch “Leonard Part 6″ sober.

chase

Posted October 7, 2010 at 7:51 PM

really enjoy the site. i have slowly been collecting all the reviewd gems. i agree with most of your reviews, except alien apocolpyse. it wasn’t bruce’s best, but found it more enjoyable than man with a screaming brain, or the foamy carrot and corn riddled turd that is icebreaker. keep up the great work fella’s. shitty movie night is fuckin tit’s. one

Hardy

Posted November 5, 2010 at 11:25 AM

check out:

hardyscinemashame.wordpresss.com

Needless to say, conflicts on this planet are not solved be reasoned debate or rational thinking.

Finally The Avengers are going to tackle an epic problem truly fitting of their skills: cooties.

This might be Big Whitey’s biggest middle finger to black people since Vanilla Ice.

I never understood this group’s name when I was a child. What exactly are they avenging? Poor life choices and overwhelming unlikablility?

We’ve seen this movie and we’ve still never heard of him.

I’m pretty sure the only thing on him that can be described as invincible is his incurable bout of herpes.

The most brutal and painful plague unleashed upon the world since the Jonas Brothers.

An epic battle that will test the limits of their strength and of your ability to stay awake.

No movie can possibly be as bad as this poster, but goddamn it, it sure as hell tries.

For some reason I’m getting eerie flashbacks of the time I made my He-Man doll battle my Faker doll.

Sure, but do they love?

It’s like the Thelma & Louise of man movies, provided that Thelma and Louise were actually gay.

I’m pretty sure that The Best Of Absolutely Nothing would be a far more accurate title.

I’ve got two tickets to paradise…called testicular cancer.

He’s a man of many faces. Too bad entertaining isn’t one of them.

I’ve got a fever. And the only prescription…is more JCVD.

The title of this film doesn’t describe any aspect of the plot, but rather Brian Bosworth’s career.

One of the world’s most tragic mistakes: the TV movie.

0 Pants Full Of Jizz

A jogging enthusiast’s worst nightmare. And no, we’re not referring to a pair of shorts that actually cover your balls.

I laughed so hard that Diet Coke sprayed out my nose, and I haven’t drank Diet Coke in six years.

Watching elderly people race for the Early Bird breakfast buffet is more riveting than this incredible pile of garbage.

It’s-a me, Mario! I’m-a here to take a dump on-a yo chest!

A truly epic five part journey into madness that few will survive. Proceed with caution and adult diapers.

For anyone who felt that Monster Squad was too much of a thinking movie, there’s Nightbreed.

Over ninety minutes of praying that Dolph Lundgren will put some goddamn pants on.

Like a regular cop, only he fixes watches.

There’s evil behind you. Painfully boring evil.

This should have been called Over The Shark, as in this movie jumped it.

Hey kids, do you like exploding heads? Well, you probably still won’t like this movie.

Street Racer? More like Shit Racer! Am I right? Anyone?

I’ll see you at the party, Richter! Right next to the freaky midget in the dude’s stomach and the chick with three boobs!

If you’re going to end a career, might as well take a lot of people with you.

Seriously, Christians, you had it coming.

If you added a giant middle finger to that picture of two unmoving robots, you’d pretty much have it perfect.

In case George Bush didn’t make you hate the US enough, let this movie seal the deal.

Watch out Guttenberg, it’s Three Men and a Bathtub.

In space, no one can hear you scream. Please, take these people to space. I’m begging you.

Robert Urich takes you on a magic journey through time, space, and herpes.

Guys, we’re in the alien ship and that totally sucks.

Possibly one of the greatest of all time. Hail to the king and his pommel horse, baby.

I’M TIRED OF THESE MOTHERFUCKING SHITTY ACTORS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING TRAIN!

Bad things come in threes, but useless things comes in fours.

Less, much less, than meets the eye.

No, really, this movie exists. Trust us.

TMIS: This Movie Is Shit – The Revenge

Hold on one second…yep…the adventure’s now over.

Zzzzzz…zzzzz…why yes, Bea Arthur, I’d love a hot stone massage…zzzz…

0 Pants Full Of Jizz

Find your Animality! Mine’s a disgruntled chipmunk.

JCVD begins the madness with a flashkick to the balls.

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