Why are you doing this?

Because we love you.  Well not you specifically, unless you are young, attractive, and female.  Or if your name is Steve and you own Given The Boot Productions.  Then we love you and we are doing this for you.

If your sense of humor prevents an appreciation of irony or the greatness of a tagline such as “The skill of gymnastics! The kill of karate!”, then this site can be used as a navigational tool to help you avoid these cinematic landmines. But if you, like us, have a masochistic urge to explore the comically insane underbelly of the talky pictures, then we invite you to use this site as your Shirpa on the way up the mountain of shitty movies.

We are also doing this for the children, and because if we don’t, The Terrorists have truly won.

And a jet-ski, we are also doing this for a jet-ski.


Welcome To Our Nightmare

For the last two years, three brave men have walked the thin line between life and death, sanity and insanity, Black Cherry French Vanilla Pepsi Jazz and Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper.  They have soared with the angels, and huddled below the earth with demons.  They have fought alongside giant robots with hydraulic fists, and driven go-karts in an attempt to learn the ins and outs of back alley illegal street racing.  They have done what you could not, what you would not, do.  They are on a mission, one that will push them to the very limits of their physical, intellectual and emotional endurance.

They watch shitty movies, and now, for the first time, their stories will be recounted here.

Prepare yourself diligently for what is to come, and beware, for here be dragons.

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Guideposts In The Abyss